An informal and informed guide to canoe trips, primarily in Canada and a tiny bit of the USA, compiled by Toronto canoeists.
The Ultimate Destination (but not necessarily visited)
- Baron Canyon, Ontario, with its natural water slide
- Nahinni River, North West Territories, Canada
- About 3 strokes, after you leave any put-in point
- Topaz Lake, Killarney, Ontario
- Dumoine River, Quebec
- Everglades, Florida, USA at Christmas
The Worst Destination
- Stuck on rocks, wanting to kill my husband
- Ooze Lake, Ontario- basically like porridge with used toothpicks thrown in!
- Don River, Toronto
- A shitty day of canoeing is better than a great day in the office!
- Scarborough, Ontario (suburb of Toronto)
- Day 3 on the Spanish River, Ontario: 8 hours of solid paddling
- Tim River, Algonquin Park, Ontario: it winds and winds and winds …..
- Canoe Lake, Ontario
Best Portage
- 2500 meters in Algonquin Park, Ontario – because of a 70 year old man wearing only his red long johns
- north end of Canoe Lake. It is listed as 230 metres but if you know the secret, it is only 40 metres
- the shortest one
- Spanish River: Judy naked in the river while old German men walked by – slowly.
- no such thing
- end of Canoe Lake, near dam
Worst Portage
- The one with all the black flies (akin to midges)
- Temagami, Ontario- rough portage back into the same lake!
- West Coast trail (British Columbia, Canada) – 79 km
- uphill to Topaz Lake, Ontario
- Spanish River: Judy naked in the river while old German men walked by – slowly.
- in North Kawartha’s (Ontario) – where I got lost with a canoe on my head on a very long portage and I had to retreat a long, long way
Best Campsite
- Spanish River, on a big rock with steam rising above the water and rocks peaking to the skies
- a Shangri-la four hours from Baron Canyon
- Big Trout Lake in Algonquin Park
- Welcome Lake
- most isolated: some place in Algonquin Park surrounded by trees, facing an island
- one with no bugs, no bears and plenty of beer
- Stoplog Lake
- Quetico
Worst Campsite
- Junction of Yonge Street and Queen Street in downtown Toronto
- Near other campsites
- Three Narrows in Killarney, Ontario
- one with bugs, bears and no beer
- Wolfe Lake with bear fear
- Everglades with alligator angst
- Algonquin where we had deer mice
Best Time of the Year
- August, no bugs
- early September
- late August
- early spring before the bugs and fall (autumn) after the bugs
- Late summer, end of July, fewer bugs and better weather
- When there is high water and no rain
- Christmas
- Fall; no bugs, best colour
Worst Time of the Year
- May 24th long weekend: cold and buggy
- June: black flies
- First week of June when the black flies have learned to chew
- When there is low water and lots of rain
- October: canoeing in the snow
Location of the best washrooms
- the bush
- downtown Toronto
- Algonquin Park
- Plaza Hotel, New York city
- thick woods, behind big rocks
- anywhere that poison ivy isn’t
- at home
- Frontenac
Advice on coping without facilities
- Let it all hang out: wear spandex
- Grocery bags: hold handles on each side of backside
- Stoop, no scoop
- Make sure you are with people you really like
- Read the book: “How to shit in the woods”
- Lose all inhibition. Work on your quads; you’ll need to squat
- Lots of dry toilet paper
- Make sure no-one’s looking
- Doing dishes is easier
Best Outfitters
- an expensive one
- North West Outfitters, Round Lake
- Anita: dab hand at re-hydrating food
- Algonquin Outfitters
- Mountain Equipment Coop
- Trailhead
Worst Outfitters
- Fairweathers
- Wal-Mart
- Europe-Bound: once you have made your purchase, the service ends
- Richer’s Small Motors
Best Food
- spaghetti
- caviar on campfire-frilled sour dough bread
- tomato and bocconcini salad with coarse bread, black olives and red wine
- first night when you have fresh meat and veggies
- Day 4 on the West Coast Trail: fresh crab and beer from a local store
- anything hot
- Fettuccine Alfredo – instant pre-packaged
- Roast lamb suspended over the fire by a rope
- Crackers, cheese and onions
- Steak on a wood fire
Worst Food
- granola
- macaroni and cheese
- peanut butter and sardine sandwiches
- Big Bill Bowel Busting breakfast (the fast acting stuff)
- pre-packaged ‘camping’ foods
- breakfast and lunch on what the racoons have left over
- multi-grain bread
I would not leave home without …..
- beer, beer and more beer
- tooth brush, for the morning after (Wow!)
- toilet paper! Birch bark burns very well but makes an awful derriere wiper
- Swiss army knife
- extra socks
- river shoes, dry bag
- an air mattress
- Thermarest
- long underwear
My most memorable trip was ….
- North Tea Lake: my first trip. 4 days of non-stop rain and 8 of us in an 8-man tent
- where we almost went over the falls
- in no particular order: Spanish River, Temagami, Tim River, French River, West Coast Trail (except for the long portage), Baron Canyon, Welcome Lake
- Killarney, Ontario: my first trip. It was challenging and the views were gorgeous. Saw my first blue heron.
- Spanish River where Judy said: “Eventually, I will have to kill him” and Rick’s corresponding feelings of joy, fear, surprise, fear, adventure, fear (i.e. Judy might succeed in killing him)
- canoeing through the Everglades
- Welcome Lake: we got engaged
- where we young health males ran a portage at full speed after a long day, canoe overhead, packs on back to be told at the other end by 5 campers that we had unknowingly chased a bear through their campsite.
Most useful gadget
- Swiss army knife
- candle lantern
- insulated pot warmer which keeps the pot warm, conserving fuel
- head band sprayed liberally with Muskol/Deep Woods (mosquito repellent) to keep the black fly away, and placed strategically on the forehead, ears, and nape of the neck
- Tie a rope between 2 trees: double back on the rope twisting it as you go and tie again to the first tree. Hang your clothes between the twisted ropes: no clothes pegs needed.
